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The happy, candy filled couple
We’re straying from the traditional boundaries of Milwaukee for this jar of candied stupid. A man, at his wedding, was charged with throwing a knife at a 17 year old wrapped in duct tape. Let that sink in.
From the Journal Sentinel NewsWatch:
A groom is accused of throwing a knife at his wedding reception and injuring a young man wrapped in duct tape. Matthew J. Willi, 46, is charged with felony second-degree reckless endangerment and misdemeanor endangering safety with a dangerous weapon. The criminal complaint says the victim was with some 17-year-old friends, and with Willi’s son. The two youths played with wooden swords, which split at one point. A friend wrapped the victim’s upper body in duct tape and someone commented he looked like a pinata. Willi, the groom, wanted to hit him with a wooden sword, but the others wouldn’t let him. Willi then allegedly grabbed a handful of knives at a house. The complaint says Willis threw one, hitting the victim in the upper chest. He was charged last week.
Some weddings are boring. Some weddings, apparently, are filled with wooden swords, knives, teenagers wrapped in duct tape in order to resemble human pinatas and, I’m guessing in this case, crystal meth and aggression. Perhaps, in subsequent weddings for the groom, he can balance his love of knife play with a more tempered wedding celebration. Maybe lawn darts?
Editors everywhere are preparing their “The Family That Robs Together, Stays Together” headlines for tomorrow. It’s what they do when fruit this ripe falls in their laps. While this story involves Chicagoans, it’s where they did what they did that makes it a tale of Milwaukee frivolity.
A 17-year-old teen in town from Chicago for his mother’s birthday yesterday apparently robbed two gas stations in Greenfield and Milwaukee at gunpoint before he and his mother – the alleged getaway driver – were captured by Greenfield police last night. Others along for the ride? The woman’s three other children, a 13-month-old girl and two boys, ages 10 and 14, who Greenfield police were aware that their older brother was robbing the businesses after planning out the capers with the 37-year-old mother.
That kinda makes the Dairy Queen ice cream cake I got every year for my birthday seem about as crappy as this.
It’s only going to get worse, Wisconsinites.
Packer Fans Flies Flag at half staff
Greg Kurzynski of Greenfield is frustrated with the Green Bay Packers for trading Brett Favre to the New York Jets and he’s in mourning.
So he did what you’re supposed to do when there’s a tragedy.
He’s flying his Packers flag at half staff.
“When I woke up this morning and saw that they had made the trade, I had to so something,” he said. “It was just eating me up.”
Kurzynski, a lifelong Wisconsinite and Packers fan, said he bought a Packers flag when he moved from South Milwaukee to a house on Howard Ave. in 2003. He flies it on game days.
He’s been on vacation from work for the past two weeks and fuming over what looked to him like the Packers seeming to push Favre away.
Usually Kurzynski spends his vacation at Packers training camp, but he couldn’t this year, he said, because Favre wasn’t going to be under center.
Kurzynski said a letter to Packers general manager Ted Thompson would just be ignored. He figured a flag placed in a position of distress would get more attention.
He lowered the flag, then mowed his lawn. His wife, Gloria, called the newspaper and a television station.
So now Kurzynski has two teams. He said he’s going to order his New York Jets jersey once the Jets’ official online store comes back up. The Web site had been down all morning, Kurzynski said.
Kurzynski will watch Jets games on television, he said. He will watch the Packers too, if the games aren’t on at the same time.
Kurzynski and his wife have mapped out a game-time routine during their 38 years of marriage. He sits on the edge of his chair and can’t be interrupted. Gloria Kurzynski will listen in, but she won’t let a game stop her from doing chores around the house.
“I’ll watch,” she said, “but only if I bet on it.”
Just another Saturday in Milwaukee…
A 27-year-old Port Washington woman who had too much to drink stabbed her ex-husband in the heart Saturday evening in front of her two children, according to a criminal complaint filed today in Ozaukee County Circuit Court.
According to the complaint, the ex-husband picked up Jessica M. Zarling and her two children from a friend’s house just before 6 p.m. on Saturday and noticed she was drunk.
When they got to their home on the 1000 block of Westport Drive, she went through the numbers on his cell phone and then began to beat him over the head with it, bit him in the arm and then demanded that he give her the keys to his car, which he refused to do because of her drunken state, the complaint says.
“I want you dead in the worst way,” she yelled at him and then picked up a kitchen knife and stabbed him in the chest, the complaint says.
He fell to the floor while Zarling said, “Die. You deserve it,” the complaint says.
Stabby McStabberson!
From JSOnline…
Milwaukee police said a 30-year-old man was hurt today when a dead cow at a slaughter house fell off of a hook and on top of him.
